Front Row

The title says it all. I'm going to see a concert front row, albeit Starfield and Fee. But it is still front row. The rest of my life is falling into its same old boring self. I would say I enjoy it but it may be a lie. I am not sure. I do enjoy it sometimes. But others I do not. I am watching the News currently. That doesn't do much for me. It is hard to stay optimistic while watching other people win the lottery (when clearly that would solve all of my problems). On the bright side I have been pretty encouraged and inspired the past few days. I'm pretty stoked to see where God leads me. Wherever the heck that is. I'm hoping for big things. I am positive I was made for them. But some days I get down on myself for being such a failure with absolutely no motivation. One of these days I will break that spell and spread my wings and fly. I'm half expecting to fall on my face and maybe break a few vertibraes. Should be fun, I am pretty stoked. Thankfully I have a great medical plan working at the Dollar Giant...

2 Weeks Later

Today marked my first time driving with a stranger. No, it was not a hitchhiker though. Although that is a goal of mine. I took my licensing test less than two hours ago. I failed. I am disappointed. I could argue it. I did feel I deserved to pass. Supposedly I did not shoulder check. I am sure he missed them. I don't know how, but I looked. Supposedly I also hit a curb. Not gonna lie, I think I would remember that, wouldn't I? Anyways, it is over. I am over it. I will get it next time. I was gonna rant, but where will that get me in the long run? Peaaaaaaace!

It's Only A Crime If You Get Caught

Amidst the twelve thoughts I had going to and returning from "7-11" just minutes ago there was one that really stuck with me. I am a believer in Christ. I believe He came, as God's son to save anyone who would choose His salvation. I believe that because of Him, our sins are forgiven. Whatever I do wrong, I can claim this forgiveness because of His love. I have known this almost my entire life. I ignored these truths until recently, but thats besides the point. One of the truths I believe is that I am forgiven despite my wrongdoings. Currently I am conflicted, though. Is one of those wrongdoings shame in the way my life is forming? Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for everything God has given me. My many gifts, and the extraordinary people that have been placed in my life. But I feel like I could do so much more with them. God has given me so much and I feel like I am wasting them. I feel like where I end up could be so far from where I am supposed to be. Is that even a sin? And if it is (which I feel is so) is that beyond forgiveness? Ignoring potential. Seeing a future with so much promise, but completely failing to even follow through in the smallest way. And if I do miss all of these opportunities could I ever forgive myself let alone claim the forgiveness of my creator?