Blessed.

It has been extremely hard for me to be positive recently. I am trying really hard though. Today made it easier. The government is my friend as of right now. I am blessed. I live in the best province. I have an amazing family. All of whom love and support me. I have some awesome friends. I did not lose Leah entirely. That has helped a lot. If I have to spend the rest of my life just being her friend, I would be honoured. Disappointed. But still grateful. God has given me so many great things and I take them for granted all of the time. I don't know what He has in store for the future, but I hope and pray He makes me better through everything. And that He is glorified, not myself.

More of a Middle than an End

God is great. He sent His son to die for me! Even though he knew how horrible I am. He did it so I could live forever. So I could glorify His name. So I could be there in His incredible presence. I will be there on that beautiful day. Because Jesus Christ died on the cross for me. I don't know how to glorify Him with all of me. I just pray that He uses my music and my gifts to bring glory to Him. It's true that sometimes it takes heartbreak to bring you closer to God. It has helped. I wish I didn't need that. I have fallen onto Him and asked Him to carry me. I know He will. He will bring US through. And He will be praised for it. He will be praised forever. His love for us is so overwhelming. I can't believe it. Even though my heart is broken and trampled on the floor, I will seek Him. I will follow Him. I will trust Him. I will love Him.

Romans 9: 17. "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth."

Broken and Empty

The first song I wrote was depressing. I had never felt so bad in my life when I wrote it. I now topped that feeling. God, help me.