Initiation

So I haven't blogged for a few days now and I decided it was about time I finally did. I had a couple of nights with little sleep to think about stuff. Things like life, my failures, what I would like to do, but seemingly can't. So after all of this thinking I realized something about myself. I am terrible at initiating. And it's not only in one area either. In so many ways I can't initiate anything. I personally think I lack this skill because I fear what will happen if I do initiate something and it doesn't work out, or embarass myself, but that's about all that I could come up with. I'm sure there are other reasons but I can't think of them, because they are probably subconscious. Oh well though. What can you do? I'm sure there are things I could do, but would I do them, most likely not. I'm kinda hoping this changes for the sake of one thing, but other than that it really doesn't bother me that I am terrible at initiation. Things will all eventually work out in the end. Yes, I know that is the lazy way to think because it requires the least amount of effort, but it works for me at the moment.